Learning to live for HIS glory

If not my absolute favorite, then Easter is definitely one of my favorite days of the year.  There is just so much to celebrate!  So much joy is mine because of what happened in history over 2000 years ago.  Wow.  It's hard to fathom that long span of time.  Nevertheless, what I celebrate today has been bringing joy to thousands for all of these years. It's hard for me to put into words all that I think about on Easter.  It's a day that usually involves tears and exultant singing, quiet reflection and much rejoicing.  It's a day that stirs the jubilant longing of my heart.  For although every day is a day to remember the abundant life I have because of my Savior's sacrifice, Easter is an awesome reminder of just how much He did for me. If I could go back to anytime in history, I think I'd go back to that first "Easter" weekend.  I wonder what it would have been like.  (You can see my musings on some of that from about a year ago her...

Some REAL moments from November. 5~Jesus, thank You for being all for me so I can be free to be weak and ordinary...free to fail. 7~I hurt cause I'm wondering why. Why did this have to even happen in the first place. I know...sin. But oh the world just feels so dark and bleak. I'm trying to make sense of it all and honestly struggling. You are what is right and true. Jesus, I need You. Cut through this darkness with Your light. Please? Help. Hurting. Need Your grace! 8~There is hope despite the mourning. I think I can write in pink again. 12~Instead of dreading being in a freshman class that could mostly be 5 years younger than me, I feel like I've been given a bit of a vision for what kind of ministry that could be. Thank You! And as I think about that, Lord, I feel like this is key: Would You give me SUCH a joy in my singleness . . . It's like those freshman girls are all so involved in this drama of finding an “MRS. Degree.” I wan...

Wait, When did those eyes staring back at me change? When did the girl become a woman? There's a story behind her eyes. Was it when she realized love hurts... But is still SO worth it? When the world became a little more black than white? Was it when life became a series of routine days? When joy became a choice? Or, I know, When the perfect walls came crashing down? Actually, no, I don't know. When does the face of a girl change? Behind the story in her eyes, I still see joy. Still see the girl inside. She's just . . . aware. Aware that joy is a choice, Love is a choice. Hard choices, Worthy choices. Her smile comes from the inside. Beauty shines as she chooses each day: Christ rules this life. May His glory shine.

Seeing my imperfections, Falling on my knees, Living in guilt, no, Rejoicing in hope. Righteousness: Mine. Blameless In His eyes. Perfect: Me? All because, His body. His blood. Broken, Beaten, Spilled out, For sinners, Like me.

In church this morning we talked about pornography.  Heavy stuff.  However, I came out of church encouraged and thankful.  Almost in tears because of how overwhelmed I was (and still am) by the grace of God! I was reminded of this post from back in November:  Thoughts of a Recovering Addict .  I won't tell the story again (you can read it), but Pastor Keith hit the nail on the head when he said, "A woman needs to feel something, and so her porn might be in words that touch her emotionally--romance novels that portray the ideals of new love, depicting a woman being swept off her feet by a hero."    I applaud him for saying that, because ...That's my story... And I know I wouldn't be where I am today if God had not, in His marvelous grace, provided me with a wake up call like the one Pastor Keith offered this morning. Because, I can tell you right now, it's a sneaky addiction.  It doesn't look that wrong!  It's just a book (or to be ...

Hope . . . I love that word!  It's a word that brings so much life & joy, but only when it's used rightly. I'm here to tell you today that my hope as a single woman is not placed in the possibility of marriage someday.  I don't live for that time, and I don't believe that will be when I am finally and perfectly fulfilled.    Jesus fulfills!   HE  is my hope.  Today and forever I rest in those truths! That said, I would still love to be married someday.  I still PRAY for my future husband.  However, I'm not promised marriage in this life.  For today, I've been given the gift of singleness, and I want to live fully in today. . . taking in all the joys and sorrows that are in this moment!  I want to embrace the people in my life today. . . loving them and my Savior unreservedly. Those words are my heart. . . but there are times when it's hard to remember them.  There's this lie floating around that too many peop...

Snowflakes dancing their way down from the sky send a special ray of hope into this heart of mine.  I guess you could say it all goes back to that one day . . . was it really 5 years ago now? Wow. Time does fly. In the midst of a season where joy was oh so difficult to see, filled with doctor's visits and no energy . . . I remember this like it was yesterday.  Walking out of the doctor's office one afternoon, after another session of blood work (blood I didn't feel like I could afford to lose), the first flakes of snow were beginning to fall.  And I didn't need energy to enjoy their beauty.  In that moment, my Lord whispered, I love you , and He used the snow. So I guess, for me . . . the snow is a reminder of God's love.  Why?  Oh, I could probably give you a lot of really great reasons, but it's all really quite simple . . . and profound.  He's a personal God, and one difficult day some simple snowflakes reminded me of His love.  I suspect t...

I'm a recovering addict.  And I suspect those of you reading this are either on the caught up in or trying to get out of side of an addiction.  We're all seeking meaning in life.  Joy.  Hope.  Peace. Love. Problem is, we live in a messed up, twisted, evil world.  It can't deliver on any of those desires.  Neither can anything in it. Where do you run to escape?  When life is cruel, hard, hurts . . . ?  Where do you let your mind go when you just need to "get away"--when you're craving peace?   I know my drug of choice.  It's getting caught up in the dream world of fiction.  Letting myself believe, if only for the hour it takes to devour a book, that the world can be a much more perfect place.  Getting wrapped up in the life of some imaginary person so that I don't have to face the struggles and problems in mine.   For years, I didn't recognize my addiction for what it was.  After all, wasn't it normal for...

Lately these eyes have been watery often.  In some ways that's good.  In some ways, hard.  "Tears wash the windows of our souls, and afterwards we can see ourselves more clearly." ~Robin Jones Gunn I'll testify to the truth of that quote.  There is something so refreshing and cleansing about tears.  Yet sometimes I just want to get them all out, while they seem to remain bottled up inside.  Tears come, but they stop before I know I'm finished crying . . . and so I wait, wondering when the next ones will fall. Do I need to just get away for a day?  Someplace where I can work through everything in stillness before the Lord and have a good, long hard cry?  These thoughts have been heavy on my mind the past few weeks. Last night though, I realized something.  I realized that the Lord is walking with me through each moment, and maybe, just maybe, this is meant to be a journey.  Maybe it's not meant to all be resolved in one sitting. ...

Lately the Lord's been working on getting to the heart issues behind a lot of the struggles in my life. He's doing it by revealing to me the adulterer I am . . . "You adulteresses , do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God."  ~James 4:4 That verse always gets me.  It makes me stop, and usually groan!  Because for me, the idol that probably creeps in to the place God should have in my life most frequently, is a desire for the approval, affirmation, & acceptance of other people.  Sound anything like being a friend of the world? Yeah..... Know what though?  Living life with pleasing people as my motivation is exhausting and frustrating. Sure, I get those high moments.  When someone notices I did a good job and points it out, when a friend or parent agrees that I made the right decision, or when someone who's usually annoyed gives me a g...

Singleness.  Surprised? I am.  See, if I were to be honest, I'd have to tell you that one of the dearest dreams of my heart is to one day be a wife and mom.  And yet, I really, truly am thankful for my singleness.  I realized that just recently.  Actually, just last week, maybe. So for those of you who are walking the single path right now, can I just offer some positive thoughts of encouragement? (those of you who are married, please stick around . . . I'd like to share something with you too.) I know this path can be rather frustrating at times.  I've been there, trust me, I get it.  But you know what?  What a tremendous gift we've been given in this season of life!  The concerns of a marriage and taking care of little kiddos don't have claim to our time, so instead we are free to focus on loving and investing in a variety of other people, learning new things, growing in our love for the Lord, and going on adventures! Now don't ge...

"Therefore, since Christ has suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same purpose, because he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for the lusts of men, but for the will of God. For the time already past is sufficient for you to have carried out the desire of the Gentiles, having pursued a course of sensuality, lusts, drunkenness, carousing, drinking parties and abominable idolatries.  In all this, they are surprised that you do not run with them into the same excesses of dissipation, and they malign you; but they will give account to Him who is ready to judge the living and the dead.  For the gospel has for this purpose been preached even to those who are dead, that though they are judged in the flesh as men, they may live in the spirit according to the will of God. The end of all things is near; therefore, be of sound judgment and sober spirit for the purpose of prayer.  Above all, ke...

Today is Easter or Resurrection Day, a day on which we (as those who believe in Jesus as our Lord and Savior) purpose to remember His sacrifice for us on the cross.  But not just His sacrifice, not just His pain and death, no we also remember His life.  For He IS RISEN!  When He died He didn't stay dead, but rose again to give us newness of life . . . to offer us the opportunity to choose Him, and in Him, victory over sin and death.  My heart is overflowing today--overflowing with joy!  For these are the truths that bring joy . . . and hope, and peace.  And I want to remember these truths, not just today, but every day.  For they are just as true tomorrow as today, and just as true next month as tomorrow.  These are the truths that put a smile on my face, and make me cheerful even when I am at work and it is 7 in the morning.  I desperately need to claim them as true in my life, to reckon them, daily.  For then I live as I a...

Me: It's been a good day. Mom: What made it good? Me: Jesus . . . and remembering Him. A simple exchange of words in the kitchen yesterday afternoon, that I've been pondering since.  Because truly, Jesus' presence with me does make a day good, no matter what it's schedule includes.  The trick is remembering He is with me.  He is always there--desiring my full attention, painting beautiful pictures in the sky, wanting to teach me from His Word, loving me more fully than I will ever comprehend--but unfortunately I don't always remember to look for Him.  I'm not constantly purposing to abide. Even the simplest, most mundane of days can be joy filled when I remember He loves me and lives inside--when I consider the fact that my life "is hidden with Christ in God" (Col. 3:3).  For "in His presence is fullness of joy; at His right hand are pleasures forevermore" (Psalm 16:11). As a birthday approaches and a new year of life is about to begin,...

What do you do when you're trying to lead and organize something and things just keep seeming to go wrong?  There's no opportunity to back out, and somehow the struggles must be pushed through.  I've been there these past few weeks.  Struggling with knowing worry won't help, but doing it anyway, then crying out, "Lord, forgive me!"  Knowing my God is always faithful, but failing to apply that fact to my thinking.  Trying to make things work, only to have them keep falling apart.  What's a girl to do? "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."  ~Romans 8:28 Yes, we know it, but do we apply it?  Such peace is available to those of us who love Him if we will but reckon the truth of His sovereign faithfulness in our day-to-day lives!  His peace, priceless peace, peace that surpasses comprehension . . . It is exactly that kind of peace that came...

"The journey of life is a search for truth This journey of faith is following You Every step of the way Through the joy and the pain Right here in this moment Take my heart Take my soul I surrender everything to Your control And let all this is within me lift up to you and say I am Yours and Yours alone Completely"   ~from Completely by Ana Laura  As I was pondering what my life has looked like of late, it made me think of the words to this song.  Lately when people ask me how I am, my response has been, "life is interesting," and it is.  There are a LOT of unknowns in my life right now, and to be quite frank I don't like unknowns.   However, I'm thinking I need to change my perspective.  See, I've been looking at my  life and focusing on where it's going to take me.  When instead, I should be focusing on Jesus, following Him "every step of the way, through the joy and the pain."   Jesus is truly all we need, and He is ...

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him.  In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved.  In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace which He lavished on us.  In all wisdom and insight He made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His kind intention which He purposed in Him with a view to an administration suitable to the fullness of the times, that is, the summing up of all things in Christ, things in the heavens and things on the earth.  In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined accord...

"I said to the Lord, 'You are my Lord; I have NO GOOD besides You.' "  ~Psalm 16:2 (emphasis mine) God has really been challenging me with this verse lately.  Really the whole Psalm is wonderful, but this verse has been sticking in my head.  It's definitely had me praying quite a bit.  Do I really see myself as having no good besides God?  When I'm brought down by something, do I turn to God for my joy . . . or do I seek it in other things?  Fun and games, people time, chocolate, a piece of good fiction . . . to name a few of my favorites.  Not that those things can't be good, they can.  It's when I see them as my sources for rest, refreshment, peace, and joy that things are getting a little bent out of shape.  God needs to be where I turn to when I need those things . . . moreover, He WANTS to be the one I turn to for those things.  Isn't that cool?!  I am blessed that the Creator of the universe wants to give me HIS joy, peace,...

I caught a glimpse of heaven,  And when I did, it made me want to stop and stay. I caught a glimpse of heaven, It brought tears to my eyes just the other day. Tears of mixed joy and sorrow, Tears because of beauty, And tears because of pain. Bittersweet--that's all that I can say--glimpsing heaven is bittersweet for me. Have you ever had a moment like that?  A moment when just briefly you feel at peace and as if all the world around you is at peace?  A moment when you sigh and say, "this, this is what heaven must be like." Well every so often I have a moment like that, a moment where I feel like I just catch a slight glimpse of the joy and peace I'll experience when I one day see my Savior.  Just a tiny taste of what life will be like forever in heaven. I had a moment like that just recently.  I was in New York at a lake in the fall.  It was a beautiful day, the sun was just beginning to set, the water was peaceful, the leaves were all differe...