Learning to live for HIS glory

"Like a bride, waiting for her groom We'll be a church ready for You Every heart, longing for our King We sing, even so come Lord Jesus come!" ~ Even So Come This song has been singing in my head the past few days.  It's a very familiar thought in this season of life.  Wedding preparations are in full swing, and I look forward with much anticipation to the day when all the planning will be done and I'll walk down an aisle in a white dress...to join Carl as his bride.  But as we've been preparing and planning for that day, and more importantly for our life as one afterwards, I've been thinking more about another wedding that's coming...another bride that's making herself ready, and another groom that will be coming back for His bride.   Spurgeon depicts this so well....here's what he says:  "Heaven is always Heaven and unspeakably full of blessedness—but even Heaven has its holidays, even bliss has its overflowing....

If not my absolute favorite, then Easter is definitely one of my favorite days of the year.  There is just so much to celebrate!  So much joy is mine because of what happened in history over 2000 years ago.  Wow.  It's hard to fathom that long span of time.  Nevertheless, what I celebrate today has been bringing joy to thousands for all of these years. It's hard for me to put into words all that I think about on Easter.  It's a day that usually involves tears and exultant singing, quiet reflection and much rejoicing.  It's a day that stirs the jubilant longing of my heart.  For although every day is a day to remember the abundant life I have because of my Savior's sacrifice, Easter is an awesome reminder of just how much He did for me. If I could go back to anytime in history, I think I'd go back to that first "Easter" weekend.  I wonder what it would have been like.  (You can see my musings on some of that from about a year ago her...

If there's one thing I've been learning and being stretched in lately, it's this.  Loving--purely, wholly, genuinely, and without expectation.  It'd be nice if every time we reached out with love, the response we got was one where we felt loved in return.  Quite frankly, though, sometimes those who need love most, may not be able or willing to love us back the way we'd like them too.  And if I'm loving because I expect some sort of love in return...so what? Is that really love? Cause it sounds more like selfishness to me. Jesus, loved this way.  He gave of Himself, gave His life, without expecting us to respond in any certain way....He wants us to respond, asks us to respond, but He's not forcing anything on us.  Our response does nothing to change the fact He loves us, it just changes whether or not we receive His love. God is love. As I abide in love-- Lay down my life for others-- His love becomes perfected, In me. And the God of love, Abides ...

2~I really do love this life You have given me. Not because its easy or anything like that, the pages of these journals testify otherwise. But I love watching You show up, and seeing Your threads of grace woven through the year as I look back. 5~Those who believe in Jesus alone to save them had a beginning...but they will have no end. This boggles my mind. Thank You for being so much bigger than me! 9~Jesus, You want my life to bring You glory even more than I do...so please do lead me in Your way. 11~Please provide an environment where she can be J...the wonderful and unique woman You have created her to be. 20~Dare I be real? I feel so complicated and scattered. Being here reminds me of a piece of my life that feels...yes, surreal. Yet its shaped and molded me into who I am today . . . Can I be me...truly? All the complexities and twists to the story without worrying about people not understanding? Because, they probably won't understand...at lea...

Tidbits from my journaling's throughout September of 2014.   God sharpens and molds me as I process life on these pages, and I'll be forever thankful! 5~Lord and Father, Equip me by Your Spirit to live for a Kingdom that is coming, and not for this world. By the grace and glory of Jesus, through Your Holy Spirit within me, enable me to live by faith. In Jesus name, Amen 6~Only You can love these Isis men like You call us to...so I pray that You would do that supernaturally through Your people. Draw their hearts to You! 8~Puffy white clouds against a blue, blue sky. Cool breeze bantering with suns warm glow. Crickets in the cornfield; Cicadas in the treetops. A few early leaves fluttering down... Oh, I love fall! A bee sucks the nectar out of the last of summer's clover. Thank You, Lord, for surrounding me with all this beauty. Caressing me with the sun's warmth. Lord, let me rejoice about and be thankful for these lovely gift...

Some days I need reminded that He is at work.   Those days I'm ever so thankful for this habit of journaling.   Whatever you're needing reminded of, I pray these words in some way point you back to Jesus! To the King and to His Kingdom! 2~ Thank You for opportunities to see You answer seemingly “little,” but hugely important prayers...like helping K find his passport. It's crazy how lately I've been physically identifying with people I'm praying for...B and this whole allergy thing, A and struggling to breathe, and now the Honduras team and fatigue. Lord, somehow use this? 3~Do I ignore the call because I'm so impressed with the blessings? 5~Teach me to live in today, for eternity, seeing and treasuring the good in each moment as coming from You! 6~Be the living water that flows in me! Jesus, use the water of Your Word to tumble smooth my rock-like rough edges. 8~Instead of a list of do-nots, instead of focusing on what not to do, ...

As the little one cries himself to sleep . . . I'll sit here and pray. Pray for these moments, That he'll know he's loved; Know Love. Pray for the future, For Life. And as I pray, I'm reminded of the others. Little ones near and far With pieces of my heart. Some, like A. Not so little anymore. 18? Lord, protect him from the gangs, The drug dealers. Continue to place in his life way-signs pointing to Jesus. F, her life has changed, Haiti's no longer home. Bless that family, Use their love. Then there's D, & B, S, P . . . & a handful of A's & H's. In all of these young hearts, Jesus, Stir a love for You, A yearning for Your kingdom come. Draw whole families to You, Use their lives. Amen. " 'Shout for joy, O barren one, you who have borne no child; break forth into joyful shouting and cry aloud, you who have not travailed; for the sons of the desolate one will be more numerous than the sons of the marr...

Seeing my imperfections, Falling on my knees, Living in guilt, no, Rejoicing in hope. Righteousness: Mine. Blameless In His eyes. Perfect: Me? All because, His body. His blood. Broken, Beaten, Spilled out, For sinners, Like me.

And as I immerse myself in lesson planning He speaks to my soul: " Don't miss this." The simple is profound! Who is Jesus? Why can I trust Jesus? Why do I need Jesus? How can Jesus help me when I mess up? What does Jesus want me to do? In the middle of these "Big questions,"  "Big answers" are true for me just as much as the 7-11 year olds I'll be teaching.  Jesus is God's Son, I can look up and ask for His help in ALL things because He's trustworthy always, His death and resurrection make it possible for me to be a part of God's family, He's gracious to forgive me & help me make a fresh start when I open up to Him about where I'm wrong, and He wants me to know and love Him and have a passion for sharing that love and knowledge with others! Friends, the gospel doesn't change ! "This is how God showed His love among us:  He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him....

Because in the middle of all this planning, I need refocusing. "Keeper of the Stars,    God of the Universe,       Doer of the Impossible,         God of the Ages,            Giver of Wisdom,               JESUS,                 My Savior,   All this belongs to You.  You are the One who gives wisdom.  All I am is Yours.  Be glorified in me~use my planning to fix my eyes on You.  Use these lessons to point kiddos eyes to You.   May Your gospel flow from my pen, my mouth, my heart.   Use this, Lord!  However You see fit.  Mostly though, just grace us with Your presence!  All is nothing if You do not show up.  Lord, let them forget me, "my lessons" . . . and remember YOU                       In Jesus name,    ...

Life turning Life changing Changing direction Changing purpose Purpose for living Purpose in dying Dying to self Dying to live Live forever Live for Jesus Jesus Messiah Jesus gives life Life in death Life for all All who trust All who turn Turn to the Savior  Turn and trust Trust His life Trust His grace Grace to live Grace for sin Sin that destroys Sin that condemns Condemns our lives Condemns our hearts Hearts are turning Hearts are softening Softening to truth Softening to God God is molding God is changing Changing hearts Changing minds Minds surrender Minds now trust Trust in Jesus Trust His death Death for sinners Death to conquer Conquer the devil Conquer the grave Grave now empty Grave of joy Joy unending  Joy in Christ  Christ our Savior  Christ our Lord Lord  Savior

They sat around their regular table, another pulled up to it filled with unfamiliar faces.  Laughter mixed with earnest expressions . . . one familiar face was missing. Gradually word got back to where I stood at register.  That one familiar face is gone.  Forever.  "At least he's resting in peace now." Those words haunt my heart. Is he? Did he know the Savior?  Is he living now in the peace and joy that come from the very presence of God? Or has he entered a forever living death? Condemned because he never accepted the gift of Jesus as Savior? I saw him multiple times a week, wished him a good day, endured his teasing . . .  but . . . did he know the hope I have? I don't know.  I can't know. But this, I do know . . . one day, friends, we will all face death, and on the other side stand before a righteous GOD .  How will He judge?  Rightly He would find us all guilty, and send us away to forever torment . . . forever separat...

It happens...again. In the middle of the everyday struggles of life, Perspective shifts. My eyes and mind cloud over. Pain. People's opinions. . . But does all this matter? Really? He lifts my eyes up, Again. Reminds me: Eternity matters . And because of that, How I live my everyday matters Too. And I cling to a thin thread of trust, Begging, Don't let me forget again. Remind me daily, Souls matter. Prayer matters. And Jesus wins. Lord, burn eternity into my heart and eyes.  Let me live in my everyday with a forever perspective, and use me, somehow, someway to make an impact that matters in eternity. Amen.

In church this morning we talked about pornography.  Heavy stuff.  However, I came out of church encouraged and thankful.  Almost in tears because of how overwhelmed I was (and still am) by the grace of God! I was reminded of this post from back in November:  Thoughts of a Recovering Addict .  I won't tell the story again (you can read it), but Pastor Keith hit the nail on the head when he said, "A woman needs to feel something, and so her porn might be in words that touch her emotionally--romance novels that portray the ideals of new love, depicting a woman being swept off her feet by a hero."    I applaud him for saying that, because ...That's my story... And I know I wouldn't be where I am today if God had not, in His marvelous grace, provided me with a wake up call like the one Pastor Keith offered this morning. Because, I can tell you right now, it's a sneaky addiction.  It doesn't look that wrong!  It's just a book (or to be ...

Hope . . . I love that word!  It's a word that brings so much life & joy, but only when it's used rightly. I'm here to tell you today that my hope as a single woman is not placed in the possibility of marriage someday.  I don't live for that time, and I don't believe that will be when I am finally and perfectly fulfilled.    Jesus fulfills!   HE  is my hope.  Today and forever I rest in those truths! That said, I would still love to be married someday.  I still PRAY for my future husband.  However, I'm not promised marriage in this life.  For today, I've been given the gift of singleness, and I want to live fully in today. . . taking in all the joys and sorrows that are in this moment!  I want to embrace the people in my life today. . . loving them and my Savior unreservedly. Those words are my heart. . . but there are times when it's hard to remember them.  There's this lie floating around that too many peop...

It's the eve of turning 22, A new year of life's about to begin! I'm ready, excited, and anticipating much. Jesus has brought me far in the year of 21 And I'm thankful for so many things. Mostly though, I'm thankful for Him, His sacrifice, New life, And the joy of each moment spent with Him! So as I turn to 22, My birthday wish would be, To grow in loving Jesus more No matter what life brings. This new year is exciting, With many corners and pages to turn. I cannot see around them, But the One who walks beside me can!   I really don't know All this year will hold, But what I do know is . . . He's doing exciting things. And so I live anticipating, Wondering, Smiling, Trusting. Days will come it's hard. I know, But I want to cling to this: My God is ever faithful. It's in His grace I rest. When I'm weak, He is strong. He is always and ever with me. Life is beautiful. 22, I'm ready for you. (But I'll e...

Be gracious to me,  O God, be gracious to me, For my soul takes refuge in You;  And in the shadow of Your wings will I take refuge Until destruction passes by. I will cry to God Most High,  To God who accomplishes all things for me. ~Psalm 57:1-2 O You who hear prayer, To You all men come . . . By awesome deeds You answer us in righteousness, O God of our salvation, You who are the trust of all the ends of the earth and of the farthest sea. ~Psalm 65:2&5 Knees bent.  Head bowed.  Life surrendered.  Eyes lifted up to the Gracious One.  Refuge is found there.  Life.  Peace.  Strength. On My Knees by Jaci Velasquez Lord, remind me.

2~Guard me from over-analyzing…and believing the lies of “Why?” that I’ve made up in my mind. 5~Precious One, woo my heart? . . . Enable me, I pray, to lay down all idols in order to make more room for You.  I don’t want You crowded out of my heart. 7~Thank You, Lord, for just how You’re showing me that You’ve put me where I am for a reason.  I pray that You would give me wisdom in knowing how to love K. right now . . . Encourage her heart Lord! 8~ Lord, oh, give me Your heart to see the lost, found!   I must die, Lord, my pride and self-righteousness, all must die…and be stripped away, that You would reign, and increase!   The reality of heaven and hell don’t sit with me on a moment-by-moment basis.   Lord, would You open my eyes to see that? 11~Today as I come and read Your Word and live in Your presence, continue to draw my heart away with Your sweet song of love! 12~My soul is thirsting to be cherished and to have a companion to walk thr...

Tidbits from September's thoughts . . . 3~Guard me from wanting the gifts for their own sake, or loving them for their own sake, and instead ignite by Your Holy Spirit a deeper desire and love for You! Thank You for entering into covenant with me, Lord! 12~Making pleasing people my god is soo exhausting!  Thank You for saving me from having to be enslaved to that!  I pray You would give me the courage, humility, and graciousness to live for You alone . . . remind me I don’t have to make everyone happy.  In fact, if I’m living for You, I’ll probably make some people mad.  But Lord, I pray You would fill me with Your Spirit’s grace and love to such a point that my only offense would be the gospel! 14~Honestly just so many thoughts running through my head right now.  You have placed the capability to dream within me, and yet I don’t want to let a good thing become a bad thing by letting it run away with me! Lord, the burdens of family, friends, and...

I planned on leaving for a dear friend's wedding this evening.  Plans change.  Some sickness has set in at my house, and we aren't able to make the trip.  Sadness and disappointment resulted. This morning though, as I sat with the Lord, He reminded me that the most glorious of weddings is yet to come . . . and no sickness can change the fact that I will be there!  Oh . . . words fail me to describe the GLORY of that thought!  I am so thankful for my Jesus.  There was a time when I was sick--dead, actually--He brought healing and life.  Through His death, I live, and one day will be a part of the most glorious and beautiful wedding of all time. =) =) I'm beyond thankful.  Missing this wedding is sad, but missing that wedding would be devastating.  I rejoice that I can be confident I won't!  And my heart breaks for those who will realize they are sick too late.  Do you know this, friends?  Have you accepted Jesus' gift of hea...