Learning to live for HIS glory

What makes your heart break? What makes you shed real tears? What makes you fall on your knees and beg God to intervene? What makes your heart beat? What makes you persevere despite any cost? What would you give your life for? What Gets Your Heart? Do those questions resonate?  Cause they do for me. I guess another way to ask would be: what is your passion?  But...I think it goes deeper than that.  So what gets your heart? What does your heart beat for?  Yes, what IS your passion?  But why?  What's it worth to you? There are days I feel like I'm drifting through life without a purpose.  Days it all feels meaningless.  Until something hits me between the eyes to remind me . . . Duh. That's what I'm here for. I end up in a room with a bunch of kiddos.  Kiddos who weren't raised in a family like mine.  And I hear terms come out of their mouths that I cringe to think an eight or three year old would even un...

2~I really do love this life You have given me. Not because its easy or anything like that, the pages of these journals testify otherwise. But I love watching You show up, and seeing Your threads of grace woven through the year as I look back. 5~Those who believe in Jesus alone to save them had a beginning...but they will have no end. This boggles my mind. Thank You for being so much bigger than me! 9~Jesus, You want my life to bring You glory even more than I do...so please do lead me in Your way. 11~Please provide an environment where she can be J...the wonderful and unique woman You have created her to be. 20~Dare I be real? I feel so complicated and scattered. Being here reminds me of a piece of my life that feels...yes, surreal. Yet its shaped and molded me into who I am today . . . Can I be me...truly? All the complexities and twists to the story without worrying about people not understanding? Because, they probably won't understand...at lea...

Some REAL moments from November. 5~Jesus, thank You for being all for me so I can be free to be weak and ordinary...free to fail. 7~I hurt cause I'm wondering why. Why did this have to even happen in the first place. I know...sin. But oh the world just feels so dark and bleak. I'm trying to make sense of it all and honestly struggling. You are what is right and true. Jesus, I need You. Cut through this darkness with Your light. Please? Help. Hurting. Need Your grace! 8~There is hope despite the mourning. I think I can write in pink again. 12~Instead of dreading being in a freshman class that could mostly be 5 years younger than me, I feel like I've been given a bit of a vision for what kind of ministry that could be. Thank You! And as I think about that, Lord, I feel like this is key: Would You give me SUCH a joy in my singleness . . . It's like those freshman girls are all so involved in this drama of finding an “MRS. Degree.” I wan...

Some of the significant moments in October's journaling's from this past year... 2~Lord I pray that those who believe in Your name who are in Iraq and Syria right now would know You as their very real and very present Rock and Strength. Lord, use them to shine the light of Your love to their persecutors. 3~You are the One hearing my prayers...the One who my prayers move to action. You are worthy of being my God...I am not. 13~Learning so much Lord...at times it feels like I'm trying to drink from a fire hydrant. Teach me what You want me to learn? I have no idea where A's life is at this point, but I pray that you would continue to be the winner of his heart. He lives (or lived) in a rough city, Lord. No matter what comes, please point his eyes to You. May he be undone by Your greatness and his smallness. Give him a passion for the gospel, and use his life to spread Your glory throughout the world. 18~Thank You, Jesus, for this absolut...

Tidbits from my journaling's throughout September of 2014.   God sharpens and molds me as I process life on these pages, and I'll be forever thankful! 5~Lord and Father, Equip me by Your Spirit to live for a Kingdom that is coming, and not for this world. By the grace and glory of Jesus, through Your Holy Spirit within me, enable me to live by faith. In Jesus name, Amen 6~Only You can love these Isis men like You call us to...so I pray that You would do that supernaturally through Your people. Draw their hearts to You! 8~Puffy white clouds against a blue, blue sky. Cool breeze bantering with suns warm glow. Crickets in the cornfield; Cicadas in the treetops. A few early leaves fluttering down... Oh, I love fall! A bee sucks the nectar out of the last of summer's clover. Thank You, Lord, for surrounding me with all this beauty. Caressing me with the sun's warmth. Lord, let me rejoice about and be thankful for these lovely gift...

Some days I need reminded that He is at work.   Those days I'm ever so thankful for this habit of journaling.   Whatever you're needing reminded of, I pray these words in some way point you back to Jesus! To the King and to His Kingdom! 2~ Thank You for opportunities to see You answer seemingly “little,” but hugely important prayers...like helping K find his passport. It's crazy how lately I've been physically identifying with people I'm praying for...B and this whole allergy thing, A and struggling to breathe, and now the Honduras team and fatigue. Lord, somehow use this? 3~Do I ignore the call because I'm so impressed with the blessings? 5~Teach me to live in today, for eternity, seeing and treasuring the good in each moment as coming from You! 6~Be the living water that flows in me! Jesus, use the water of Your Word to tumble smooth my rock-like rough edges. 8~Instead of a list of do-nots, instead of focusing on what not to do, ...

There's this song I've been playing and singing a lot lately with a line in it that I absolutely love... "Our praises, filling up the spaces, In between our frailty, and everything You are"                  ~Audrey Assad, " Restless " I know it sounds cliche...but I really do have so much to be grateful for, so much to praise God about.  My life is so frail, and He is so BIG, so strong.  Yet in the midst of my frailty, as I live a life of praise, I can know His all-consuming, empowering presence in my day-to-day.  This time of year it's easy to remember...but I know I need this always.  For as I name the graces He's poured out on me, I'm drawn ever closer to the Lover of my soul.  Thankfulness encourages love. Today, I am thankful.  I praise Your name, Jesus for things like these: Smiles. Snow. Words. Family.  Life. Love. Music. Pianos...especially in tune. Sunshine. Rainbows. Cove...

Wait, When did those eyes staring back at me change? When did the girl become a woman? There's a story behind her eyes. Was it when she realized love hurts... But is still SO worth it? When the world became a little more black than white? Was it when life became a series of routine days? When joy became a choice? Or, I know, When the perfect walls came crashing down? Actually, no, I don't know. When does the face of a girl change? Behind the story in her eyes, I still see joy. Still see the girl inside. She's just . . . aware. Aware that joy is a choice, Love is a choice. Hard choices, Worthy choices. Her smile comes from the inside. Beauty shines as she chooses each day: Christ rules this life. May His glory shine.

As the little one cries himself to sleep . . . I'll sit here and pray. Pray for these moments, That he'll know he's loved; Know Love. Pray for the future, For Life. And as I pray, I'm reminded of the others. Little ones near and far With pieces of my heart. Some, like A. Not so little anymore. 18? Lord, protect him from the gangs, The drug dealers. Continue to place in his life way-signs pointing to Jesus. F, her life has changed, Haiti's no longer home. Bless that family, Use their love. Then there's D, & B, S, P . . . & a handful of A's & H's. In all of these young hearts, Jesus, Stir a love for You, A yearning for Your kingdom come. Draw whole families to You, Use their lives. Amen. " 'Shout for joy, O barren one, you who have borne no child; break forth into joyful shouting and cry aloud, you who have not travailed; for the sons of the desolate one will be more numerous than the sons of the marr...

I came home from class last week and journaled this: "Realizing how much I need to get on my knees. Jesus!  God!  Holy One! I am SO self-focused. The world does not revolve around me. You do not revolve around me. Who am I kidding? The God of the universe. Revolve around me? No. It's ALL about You, You receiving glory. From my life and all  other lives. Be lifted high, Jesus. Burn away everything, Everything that's of myself. Teach me to shine Your glory. To revel in Your praise." As He convicts, I want to change.  This isn't about learning something and putting it on a shelf.  Life is about so much more than that.  He is SO much more than that.  The name of God is great and glorious.  He is abundant in loving-kindness, slow to anger, and yet will not leave the guilty unpunished.  His Kingdom is perfection, goodness, and light. My life . . . with open hands I release it to the Glorious ONE.  May all I am be spent f...

And as I immerse myself in lesson planning He speaks to my soul: " Don't miss this." The simple is profound! Who is Jesus? Why can I trust Jesus? Why do I need Jesus? How can Jesus help me when I mess up? What does Jesus want me to do? In the middle of these "Big questions,"  "Big answers" are true for me just as much as the 7-11 year olds I'll be teaching.  Jesus is God's Son, I can look up and ask for His help in ALL things because He's trustworthy always, His death and resurrection make it possible for me to be a part of God's family, He's gracious to forgive me & help me make a fresh start when I open up to Him about where I'm wrong, and He wants me to know and love Him and have a passion for sharing that love and knowledge with others! Friends, the gospel doesn't change ! "This is how God showed His love among us:  He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him....

Because in the middle of all this planning, I need refocusing. "Keeper of the Stars,    God of the Universe,       Doer of the Impossible,         God of the Ages,            Giver of Wisdom,               JESUS,                 My Savior,   All this belongs to You.  You are the One who gives wisdom.  All I am is Yours.  Be glorified in me~use my planning to fix my eyes on You.  Use these lessons to point kiddos eyes to You.   May Your gospel flow from my pen, my mouth, my heart.   Use this, Lord!  However You see fit.  Mostly though, just grace us with Your presence!  All is nothing if You do not show up.  Lord, let them forget me, "my lessons" . . . and remember YOU                       In Jesus name,    ...

It's the eve of turning 22, A new year of life's about to begin! I'm ready, excited, and anticipating much. Jesus has brought me far in the year of 21 And I'm thankful for so many things. Mostly though, I'm thankful for Him, His sacrifice, New life, And the joy of each moment spent with Him! So as I turn to 22, My birthday wish would be, To grow in loving Jesus more No matter what life brings. This new year is exciting, With many corners and pages to turn. I cannot see around them, But the One who walks beside me can!   I really don't know All this year will hold, But what I do know is . . . He's doing exciting things. And so I live anticipating, Wondering, Smiling, Trusting. Days will come it's hard. I know, But I want to cling to this: My God is ever faithful. It's in His grace I rest. When I'm weak, He is strong. He is always and ever with me. Life is beautiful. 22, I'm ready for you. (But I'll e...