Learning to live for HIS glory

Motherhood didn't begin like I imagined it would. In my mind I held a picture of this season filled with joyful expectancy, Excitement as we waited to see our little one's face. And we had that--briefly. But the expectancy was blurred with worry, As complications took center stage. And just as I thought we were clear, Just when I expected to see my little one's form on a screen, The world seemed to come to a screeching halt. Test results were clear, And hopes were dashed, And all that I'd expected from motherhood... gone. Tears came then, in bucketfuls. I'd dreamed of a little face like mine or Carl's... But now had to face the fact that Marriah Joy's eyes will always be a mystery. I'd dreamed of a little one's snuggles, But instead faced the pains of miscarriage that ended with empty arms. I'd dreamed... Yes, I dreamed. With the ending of our wee child's life, We saw more than a life die, ...

What makes your heart break? What makes you shed real tears? What makes you fall on your knees and beg God to intervene? What makes your heart beat? What makes you persevere despite any cost? What would you give your life for? What Gets Your Heart? Do those questions resonate?  Cause they do for me. I guess another way to ask would be: what is your passion?  But...I think it goes deeper than that.  So what gets your heart? What does your heart beat for?  Yes, what IS your passion?  But why?  What's it worth to you? There are days I feel like I'm drifting through life without a purpose.  Days it all feels meaningless.  Until something hits me between the eyes to remind me . . . Duh. That's what I'm here for. I end up in a room with a bunch of kiddos.  Kiddos who weren't raised in a family like mine.  And I hear terms come out of their mouths that I cringe to think an eight or three year old would even un...

A few thoughts from June . . .  5~Lord, I’ve thought my way is the best way, and I’m sorry.  It really isn’t!  Yours is!  Thank You for always having a plan and bringing the work You begin to completion, Lord!  Thank You for Your grace extended to me! 6~ “For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ .” ~Philippians 3:20 One day my Savior, my perfect Prince will come. . . . 7~Enable me, I pray, to live a life saturated in trust and free of worry.  8~3 questions Amy Carmichael would ask before she spoke: ·          Is it kind? ·          Is it true? ·          Is it necessary? 16~Christ in me…the hope of glory…what an awesome, mind-boggling thought that is, Lord! 25~Immortal, invisible, only wise God, Your name be praised forever!  You spoke t...

Lately these eyes have been watery often.  In some ways that's good.  In some ways, hard.  "Tears wash the windows of our souls, and afterwards we can see ourselves more clearly." ~Robin Jones Gunn I'll testify to the truth of that quote.  There is something so refreshing and cleansing about tears.  Yet sometimes I just want to get them all out, while they seem to remain bottled up inside.  Tears come, but they stop before I know I'm finished crying . . . and so I wait, wondering when the next ones will fall. Do I need to just get away for a day?  Someplace where I can work through everything in stillness before the Lord and have a good, long hard cry?  These thoughts have been heavy on my mind the past few weeks. Last night though, I realized something.  I realized that the Lord is walking with me through each moment, and maybe, just maybe, this is meant to be a journey.  Maybe it's not meant to all be resolved in one sitting. ...

To sit with someone you love as they cry and not have the ability to do anything about the situation that causes the tears, or to hear a beloved voice on the phone break with emotion and not be able to reach out and hug them . . . these must be some of the most difficult situations a person can face.  I know for me they're painful.  This life is filled with burdens, and sometimes they heap up on us till we feel like we're drowning.  Some moments are just hard, sometimes the right words are completely elusive, and often times prayer is all we can offer.  When I start to think like that, I must remind myself that prayer is the most powerful thing we can offer!  Prayer taps into the power of the Almighty God who is ever faithful, created this world, loves perfectly, and raises people from the dead!  His is the power that can change a situation, and use everything for good in the lives of those who love Him. And in those moments when the burdens feel to heavy ...

Discouraged.  That's how she felt.  Thoughts of whether or not her prayers were worthwhile clouded her mind, and she wondered if God would ever come through and work as she had been pleading Him to.  Did her prayers really matter?  Frustration, sadness, discouragement, disillusionment . . . these emotions hung over her like a cloud, and she wondered where to turn--what to do.  "Does He hear me?," she wondered, "Why can't I see Him working?" Do you identify with "her"?  I do.  But maybe that's because these words are a description of me.  Just last weekend I felt like I was living inside a gray cloud.  Discouragement filled my heart and mind because I could not see God at work in those areas where I was begging Him to show up.  However, in the midst of the dark cloud of discouragement, the Lord sent a piercing ray of light to my heart.  He encouraged my weary soul with His truth and in so doing reminded me of His incredibly persona...

What do those four words have in common?  Maybe you'll figure that out by the end of this post.  :) Where to begin . . . Since my last blog entry life has become even more uncertain.  I don't like the unknown.  But lately that's what almost all of my life looks like.  The one known is that God is in control.  I don't know what I'd do without that truth to bank on.  Some verses that comfort me when I'm facing the unknown are Isaiah 55:8-9, " 'For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways, My ways, ' declares the Lord.  'For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 30:15 is both a comfort and a challenge to me, "For thus the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel has said, 'In repentance and rest you shall be saved, in quietness and trust is your strength.' " In quietness and trust is your strength . . . when I'm in the mids...