Thoughts of a Recovering Addict
I'm a recovering addict. And I suspect those of you reading this are either on the caught up in or trying to get out of side of an addiction. We're all seeking meaning in life. Joy. Hope. Peace. Love. Problem is, we live in a messed up, twisted, evil world. It can't deliver on any of those desires. Neither can anything in it.
Where do you run to escape? When life is cruel, hard, hurts . . . ? Where do you let your mind go when you just need to "get away"--when you're craving peace?
I know my drug of choice. It's getting caught up in the dream world of fiction. Letting myself believe, if only for the hour it takes to devour a book, that the world can be a much more perfect place. Getting wrapped up in the life of some imaginary person so that I don't have to face the struggles and problems in mine.
For years, I didn't recognize my addiction for what it was. After all, wasn't it normal for a teenage girl to read romance novels? And they were "Christian" ones too! Then one day, someone compared it to emotional pornography . . . to smoking, using drugs, drinking alcohol. I was stunned. The Lord had already started His work in my heart of turning it more towards Him and away from the ties those books held on my mind and heart. But that conversation shook me, and rightly so. For the first time, I think I realized the seriousness of what I was dealing with. An addiction.
Thus began, or continued, the long, hard process of breaking free. I'm still recovering. But it's only by the Lord's grace that I am where I am today. Freedom came in naming the addiction for what it was, freedom continues to come as Jesus woos my heart away. But it's not without it's pain, and I'm not without my regrets. Praise Jesus for grace! But, I beg you . . . don't hold on any longer. What you think is helping you is really only hurting. Let go. Surrender. Give Jesus back His throne.
Where do you run to escape? When life is cruel, hard, hurts . . . ? Where do you let your mind go when you just need to "get away"--when you're craving peace?
I know my drug of choice. It's getting caught up in the dream world of fiction. Letting myself believe, if only for the hour it takes to devour a book, that the world can be a much more perfect place. Getting wrapped up in the life of some imaginary person so that I don't have to face the struggles and problems in mine.
For years, I didn't recognize my addiction for what it was. After all, wasn't it normal for a teenage girl to read romance novels? And they were "Christian" ones too! Then one day, someone compared it to emotional pornography . . . to smoking, using drugs, drinking alcohol. I was stunned. The Lord had already started His work in my heart of turning it more towards Him and away from the ties those books held on my mind and heart. But that conversation shook me, and rightly so. For the first time, I think I realized the seriousness of what I was dealing with. An addiction.
Thus began, or continued, the long, hard process of breaking free. I'm still recovering. But it's only by the Lord's grace that I am where I am today. Freedom came in naming the addiction for what it was, freedom continues to come as Jesus woos my heart away. But it's not without it's pain, and I'm not without my regrets. Praise Jesus for grace! But, I beg you . . . don't hold on any longer. What you think is helping you is really only hurting. Let go. Surrender. Give Jesus back His throne.
Comments
Post a Comment