Learning to live for HIS glory

(Missed the earlier installments?  The story starts here:  Our Love Story-Part One ) A week and a half after our first meeting, I was sitting at my desk at work, and had just told KJ to pray I would hear from him soon. (Or maybe I just needed patience?) Opening my facebook messages I discovered one that started with, "Dear Allison," And the rest is history. Just kidding, I'll tell you the rest of the story. ;) That message let me know that Carl wanted to get to know me better, Not just dating for fun, but seeking to see if God would lead our lives together toward marriage-- which HE did! :) BUT, at this point, we were practically strangers. Nevertheless, After he talked with my dad on the phone for a good couple hours, We started regularly calling each other, Skyping, and Facebook messaging. It wasn't long till we felt like we had known each other forever, And our regular phone calls turned to once a month visits, And all afternoon and evening Su...

Rain, Icy rain. Warmth evades ...and even my soul feels                                     cold. Because going through the motions ...doesn't mean a thing, I'm lost in the meaningless,                                nothingness,                                    daily striving after                                          ............................. In the middle of it all, Hungry, I'm yearning for words,                                good words,                         ...

In church this morning we talked about pornography.  Heavy stuff.  However, I came out of church encouraged and thankful.  Almost in tears because of how overwhelmed I was (and still am) by the grace of God! I was reminded of this post from back in November:  Thoughts of a Recovering Addict .  I won't tell the story again (you can read it), but Pastor Keith hit the nail on the head when he said, "A woman needs to feel something, and so her porn might be in words that touch her emotionally--romance novels that portray the ideals of new love, depicting a woman being swept off her feet by a hero."    I applaud him for saying that, because ...That's my story... And I know I wouldn't be where I am today if God had not, in His marvelous grace, provided me with a wake up call like the one Pastor Keith offered this morning. Because, I can tell you right now, it's a sneaky addiction.  It doesn't look that wrong!  It's just a book (or to be ...

Scribblings, prayers, and music from March of the year just past . . . 1~May every moment of my days be saturated with You. 2~You are enough, Lord!  I choose to believe that’s true, because it is, even when it doesn’t feel like it.  Truth over emotion! 3~On my own I would respond with impatience and frustration . . .  I need Your grace to flow through me.  To think through me. 5~It’s hard, Lord, my eyes are filled with tears and I don’t really know how to extend grace.  I love her, but I don’t really know how to love.  Teach me, please! . . .  Lord, when it seems impossible to love, love through me…when it seems impossible to forgive, forgive through me…when it seems like the only option is bitterness, show me the higher way. 7~Fill me with Yourself and make me a gracious woman. 8~Lord, what does it mean to desire nothing but You on this earth?  Could You help me understand that? 10~You know, Lord, that if I try to do th...

Us 9, plus 1.  The subjects needed, but in some ways dreaded.  Thankful, yet unsure of the next steps.  Change coming is always hard . . . regardless of whether good or bad.  This is good change.  Yet hard.  Selfish hearts would have things stay the same, stay comfortable and familiar.  But growth brings change, and change brings growth, and growth is good. At times the air felt tense and warm.  Heated debates?  Eh, a bit.  Much was talked through, not alot decided on.  At the end of it all, weary heads bowed to pray.  Our hearts poured out before the Lord, tensions eased away.  We told Him of our problems, thanked Him for our blessings, and then the perfect words came . . . "Thank You for Jesus."  Yes.  This is where we needed to end.  Thankful for His love and sacrifice.  Reminded of what life's all about.  

To sit with someone you love as they cry and not have the ability to do anything about the situation that causes the tears, or to hear a beloved voice on the phone break with emotion and not be able to reach out and hug them . . . these must be some of the most difficult situations a person can face.  I know for me they're painful.  This life is filled with burdens, and sometimes they heap up on us till we feel like we're drowning.  Some moments are just hard, sometimes the right words are completely elusive, and often times prayer is all we can offer.  When I start to think like that, I must remind myself that prayer is the most powerful thing we can offer!  Prayer taps into the power of the Almighty God who is ever faithful, created this world, loves perfectly, and raises people from the dead!  His is the power that can change a situation, and use everything for good in the lives of those who love Him. And in those moments when the burdens feel to heavy ...

Me: It's been a good day. Mom: What made it good? Me: Jesus . . . and remembering Him. A simple exchange of words in the kitchen yesterday afternoon, that I've been pondering since.  Because truly, Jesus' presence with me does make a day good, no matter what it's schedule includes.  The trick is remembering He is with me.  He is always there--desiring my full attention, painting beautiful pictures in the sky, wanting to teach me from His Word, loving me more fully than I will ever comprehend--but unfortunately I don't always remember to look for Him.  I'm not constantly purposing to abide. Even the simplest, most mundane of days can be joy filled when I remember He loves me and lives inside--when I consider the fact that my life "is hidden with Christ in God" (Col. 3:3).  For "in His presence is fullness of joy; at His right hand are pleasures forevermore" (Psalm 16:11). As a birthday approaches and a new year of life is about to begin,...

If I were to tell you the past few months have been easy, I'd be lying.  The truth is, they've been anything but.  The path that I'm walking is not one I would have chosen, in fact, if given the option I would have run as far as I could in the other direction.  However, it is the path that God has chosen to lead me down . . . and even though the way ahead continues to look dark and hazardous, looking back I can see His faithful hand guiding, protecting, and wooing.  I don't recall only sunshine when I pause to remember, I also recall pain, frustration, and tears, but weaving through all the dreariness, the gold and silver threads of God's wondrous purpose, love, and hope. There have been dark days and moments, and I'm sure there are probably more to come, but that's not what I want to focus on.  Instead, permit me to draw our attention to the theme that Jesus has drawn mine too over the past week or so: that of hope. Hope . . . it's a word that makes o...

I've been reading through Psalms lately, and really been challenged with how much the authors purpose to give thanks and tell of the wonderful things God has done.  But it's not just something they did back then . . . it's also a command from God's Word for us today!  So with that said . . . let me recount and give thanks for some of the things God has done. Every day, without fail, He paints beautiful sunrises and sunsets!  Making the colors in the sky almost dance sometimes, as they swirl together in patterns sometimes intricate, sometimes simple and serene.   He has grown my horizons and worldview in some crazy ways through experiences I never expected.  Who knew this Lancaster County girl would spend most of her teen years less than an hour from the city of New Orleans?  And yet, through that experience He has grown and changed me in many ways!  How amazing is my God, and how truly incomprehensible are His ways! He has changed my he...

What do you do when you're trying to lead and organize something and things just keep seeming to go wrong?  There's no opportunity to back out, and somehow the struggles must be pushed through.  I've been there these past few weeks.  Struggling with knowing worry won't help, but doing it anyway, then crying out, "Lord, forgive me!"  Knowing my God is always faithful, but failing to apply that fact to my thinking.  Trying to make things work, only to have them keep falling apart.  What's a girl to do? "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."  ~Romans 8:28 Yes, we know it, but do we apply it?  Such peace is available to those of us who love Him if we will but reckon the truth of His sovereign faithfulness in our day-to-day lives!  His peace, priceless peace, peace that surpasses comprehension . . . It is exactly that kind of peace that came...

  In a week I will be headed for Haiti!   I am so excited to see what God will do.  He already has been providing so much!  It has been awesome to see His provision as I prepare to go.  He truly is a faithful God, the only one that I can trust completely in everything.  Yet so often I  struggle to trust Him.  I know He is faithful and trustworthy: He has proven Himself those things over and over again in my life.  However that knowledge does not always connect with how I live my life.  I am so blessed that God continually reminds me of how faithful He is.  He is such a patient God.   I am looking forward to growing in my walk with Jesus during this trip.  However I don't want to wait until then to grow.  God has been challenging me with things right here in my every day life.  Mostly about whether I really trust Him with the pen of my life story, and if I really am willing to follow His commands and walk in obed...

Sometimes I struggle, Life can be hard. Sometimes I wonder, what should I do? Sometimes I cry, Wonder where to turn, Sometimes I trust And depend on His word. Sometimes I mess up, I'm far from perfection. Sometimes I try, And don't succeed. Sometimes I fall, And feel the frustration. Sometimes I fail, Always He catches me. Always, I'm loved, Sometimes I feel it. Always, I'm forgiven, Sometimes I don't realize. Always He's more Than enough for me. Sometimes I think, Can He really fill me? Always He's faithful, Sometimes I'm faithless. Always He's loving, Sometimes I forget. Sometimes I trust, Sometimes I forget, Sometimes I love, Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I look-- To Him--For rest. Sometimes I try . . . And make a big mess. Always He loves, Always He forgives, Always He's faithful, Always He's enough. Am I willing to love? Am I willing to forgive? Am I willing to trust? Am I willing t...

Today I had an amazing experience.  It brought tears to my eyes.  I usually get teary eyed when God does something that makes me think about how real He is, and how involved He is in my life!  I was at work bagging teas and praying for customers.  (Bagging teas gives me a great opportunity to pray for all sorts of things!)  But . . . I wasn't just praying we would have customers . . . instead, I was also praying that we would be able to be a blessing to those who came in.  Well, a little later I had an opportunity to talk with a lady who came in who said she felt at peace there, and that she didn't feel like she ever had a chance to be at peace.  It's a long story, but we were able to be a blessing in her life, and hopefully a catalyst for directing her to God.  That was awesome.  It was almost like God was saying, "yes Allison, I do hear you, and I'm just waiting for you to ask so I can answer."  I get teary eyed just thinking about i...