Life Goes On

I'm exhausted.  I've been up for about 15 hours and traveling for over 12 of them.  And I still have a few to go. I feel too tired to write, but at the same time I know sometimes my thoughts come out the purest when I think I'm too tired.
I miss my babies.  My arms are begging to pick one up and hold him close.  I even miss Jacob's crying when I laid him down.  I miss Fritzline and her silly faces, her patience in giving me Creole lessons.  I miss Shela who was always ready to hug me and tell me that she loved me.  I miss Venite, who facebooked me in the airport tonight!  But I miss hearing her voice and seeing the genuineness in her smile.   I miss hugging and kissing them. I miss the bond of love in Christ even though we barely knew each other.  I even miss speaking a language I hardly know!  In fact I find myself wanting to speak it to the people in the airport.  Do you think they'd look at me strange?  An American speaking Creole in an American airport?  But life continues.  God has a plan.  His plans are good.  And His ways are far above our ways.
You know what God pressed on my heart the most while I was in Haiti?  That I need to be seeking HIM.  Not necessarily what the next step in the plan is, but Him.  For He desires my heart and soul to be totally His.  He desires to be my only desire.  Isn't that amazing?  That He would care?  That the God of the universe would care if I love Him?  And He does.  He's just awesome like that.
So no matter where life takes me next that's what I want to be doing.  Seeking Him, desiring to know Him, looking for ways to grow in my relationship with Him.  No matter where I am, whether I know what comes next or not, whether I'm in a season of waiting or a season of busyness and structure . . . I want to always be seeking to know Him more.  Life goes on, but we don't have to forget the lessons we've learned.  And as life goes on God goes with us.  Actually He's gone before us, and He goes with us, and He comes behind us.  Yes, I serve an awesome God.  And I'm so excited to spend my life continuing to learn more about Him--there will always be more to learn.

"Whom have I in heaven but You?  And besides You I desire nothing on earth.  My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." 
~Psalm 73:25-26


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