It's a LONG story . . . but a good one too!
It all started back in January. I was sitting in a church service but not paying a whole lot of attention. Yes, for the sake of this story, I'll admit that! My mind had drifted . . . I was thinking about orphans and Haiti--kind of random. I don't really remember what I was thinking about those two subjects, and at that point in time I was kind of confused as to why I was thinking about them. Then all of a sudden my attention was drawn back to what Pastor Lane was saying. In my distracted state I had heard him say three words, and those three words rocked my world. He was talking about how God views those who are lost, those that we look down on--that He looks at them and says "That's my Hudson."
Earlier in the week I had been researching a school of sorts in Colorado. I'd been thinking about possibly going to Eric and Leslie Ludy's Leadership Training School for the summer. In light of that I had been listening to a lot of their teaching, trying to aid my descision process. While doing that I came across a video they had made entitled Depraved Indifference. In it Eric talks about God's heart for orphans and he uses the same exact phrase Pastor Lane used on Sunday, "That's my Hudson."
God was tying what I was thinking into the service, but it didn't stop there . . .
At the end of our church service we had a man who works with a ministry that responds to crises share some of his stories with us. He talked about the time he had spent in Haiti. That sort of blew me away. It was one thing for one of my thoughts to be tied into the service, but both of them?! What was I supposed to do with this?
That afternoon I talked with my parents about what had happened. I told them, "I don't know where those thoughts came from."
My mom just looked at me and said, "maybe, GOD?"
Ok, maybe I did know where the thoughts came from. Or maybe I thought I knew, but wanted affirmation. Either way, I was filled with a mix of two emotions--excitement and fear. Excitement because I felt like finally I was getting some direction as to what God wanted me to do next. Fear because I had no idea what exactly this would look like and because I'd never even been to a third world country.
The excitement took over, sure the fear crept in every once in a while, but I was excited! And when I found out about an orphanage in Haiti that was willing to have me come work with them I was even more excited. :) But then . . .
Yes, but then. Papa went to Haiti this spring. It overwhelmed him. I could tell when I was talking with him on Skype. Fear started to creep back in to the forefront of my thoughts. What was I getting myself into?
When Papa came home he had a suggestion to make. That I go for a week before I committed to anything long term. He wasn't sure how well I'd handle the conditions there. I'd already been planning to go for a week before committing to anything longer. But hearing him say that kind of freaked me out. This was my father talking here! He knows me better than almost anyone else in this world (except probably my mom). Fear reigned. I put off getting my passport. I began to forget how clearly I had sensed God calling me to do this.
Then I read a book--John Piper's, Don't Waste Your Life, went to a bible study on becoming a woman of grace, and watched another of Eric Ludy's video's--The Gospel (I know I've shared this link before, but just in case you didn't read that post I'm sharing it again.). The combination of these three things got me thinking again. In Piper's book I grew in my understanding of God's love--that it is primarily about His glory, and not my comfort; At bible study I rediscovered Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me;" And the video reminded me that on my own I can do nothing, but that God's mighty power is available to work in and through my life if I will let Him.
God helped me to realize that yes, this was something He wanted me to do. However, on my own I couldn't do it. I needed Him to do it through me. So now, I'm excited to anounce that I'm going to Haiti! :) I am leaving on November 14th and will be coming back the 21st. I really just want to be open to however God wants to use this in my life. It's still a little scary, but I'm trusting that God will give me the physical and emotional strength I need to do whatever He desires me to do. I'll be going to work with OLTCH (Operation Love the Children of Haiti), an orphanage that Crisis Response partners with in Haiti.
I'd appreciate your prayers for me as I go . . . I know that I need them!
For now my major prayer requests are:
Earlier in the week I had been researching a school of sorts in Colorado. I'd been thinking about possibly going to Eric and Leslie Ludy's Leadership Training School for the summer. In light of that I had been listening to a lot of their teaching, trying to aid my descision process. While doing that I came across a video they had made entitled Depraved Indifference. In it Eric talks about God's heart for orphans and he uses the same exact phrase Pastor Lane used on Sunday, "That's my Hudson."
God was tying what I was thinking into the service, but it didn't stop there . . .
At the end of our church service we had a man who works with a ministry that responds to crises share some of his stories with us. He talked about the time he had spent in Haiti. That sort of blew me away. It was one thing for one of my thoughts to be tied into the service, but both of them?! What was I supposed to do with this?
That afternoon I talked with my parents about what had happened. I told them, "I don't know where those thoughts came from."
My mom just looked at me and said, "maybe, GOD?"
Ok, maybe I did know where the thoughts came from. Or maybe I thought I knew, but wanted affirmation. Either way, I was filled with a mix of two emotions--excitement and fear. Excitement because I felt like finally I was getting some direction as to what God wanted me to do next. Fear because I had no idea what exactly this would look like and because I'd never even been to a third world country.
The excitement took over, sure the fear crept in every once in a while, but I was excited! And when I found out about an orphanage in Haiti that was willing to have me come work with them I was even more excited. :) But then . . .
Yes, but then. Papa went to Haiti this spring. It overwhelmed him. I could tell when I was talking with him on Skype. Fear started to creep back in to the forefront of my thoughts. What was I getting myself into?
When Papa came home he had a suggestion to make. That I go for a week before I committed to anything long term. He wasn't sure how well I'd handle the conditions there. I'd already been planning to go for a week before committing to anything longer. But hearing him say that kind of freaked me out. This was my father talking here! He knows me better than almost anyone else in this world (except probably my mom). Fear reigned. I put off getting my passport. I began to forget how clearly I had sensed God calling me to do this.
Then I read a book--John Piper's, Don't Waste Your Life, went to a bible study on becoming a woman of grace, and watched another of Eric Ludy's video's--The Gospel (I know I've shared this link before, but just in case you didn't read that post I'm sharing it again.). The combination of these three things got me thinking again. In Piper's book I grew in my understanding of God's love--that it is primarily about His glory, and not my comfort; At bible study I rediscovered Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me;" And the video reminded me that on my own I can do nothing, but that God's mighty power is available to work in and through my life if I will let Him.
God helped me to realize that yes, this was something He wanted me to do. However, on my own I couldn't do it. I needed Him to do it through me. So now, I'm excited to anounce that I'm going to Haiti! :) I am leaving on November 14th and will be coming back the 21st. I really just want to be open to however God wants to use this in my life. It's still a little scary, but I'm trusting that God will give me the physical and emotional strength I need to do whatever He desires me to do. I'll be going to work with OLTCH (Operation Love the Children of Haiti), an orphanage that Crisis Response partners with in Haiti.
I'd appreciate your prayers for me as I go . . . I know that I need them!
For now my major prayer requests are:
- That I would keep my focus on Jesus no matter what my surroundings and circumstances are.
- That God would prepare my heart for what He wants to teach me in Haiti.
- That I would have open eyes and ears for what God wants to do next in my life.
- That I would alllow God to work through me and not try to do it in my own strength.
- And last but not least, that God would receive glory in all of this!
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